Monday Musings
Hi Everyone,
It has been a loooooooooooooong time since my last post. I have been remiss with my blogging duties.
Life is back on track now after giving birth to Baby Jacob. The whole family had already adjusted and I think my hormones are not flaring up anymore. You see, after giving birth, there are nights that I would cry. It made me feel guilty because I was supposed to be happy with the new baby, right? I think I was overwhelmed with all the changes and adjustments going on. I missed sleeping with and taking care of my daughter. I was very hands-on with the little one that I was not able to pay much attention to Sofia. I missed my husband because we were not able to do our night walks to the nearby convenience store or even talk. I went back to work mid-April, and had been very busy since then. My coping mechanism is a bit lousy, but with the support of my husband, I was able to pull through.
Now, the new challenge is Sofia going back to school. She is now in Kinder-1, and I have to bring her to school everyday. Mama Dolly, my mother-in-law, used to stay at the school for Sofia's 3-hour class when she was in Nursery. She has to stay home now, and look after Jacob. Every morning, I bring Sofia to school and Mama Dolly picks her up at 11AM with Baby Jacob in tow. I hope we will find a better way to do this. Anyway, when I bring Sofia to school in the morning, I always feel a pang of guilt and sadness because I have to leave her in the line with her classmates to go to work while most mommies are there watching out for their kids until they are in their classrooms. And sometimes I have to rush after kissing her goodbye because I have to catch the company shuttle to work. And then I'll hear her calling because she wants a hug to go with the goodbye kiss. As I walk away, and look back at her, I see her looking at me. I try my best not to go to her and stay with her. So every morning since the past week there is heaviness in my heart. It is not easy being a working mom. I question if working and missing out on my kids is worth it. There are sacrifices to be made. I hope my daughter understands why Mommy has to leave her in school. I am just so thankful that my daughter is not like the other kids who cry on the first week of school. I don't know what I would do if that happened. I catch myself thinking when will the heavy rains pour so classes will be cancelled. At least there's a day I won't have to leave her behind for work.
So what did I say about my hormones not acting up again? :D
I'll be posting what happened in the past months. Stay tuned!
Live Love Laugh with family!
Comments
Post a Comment